Written By: Veronica Torres MA, LPC
The holidays bring joy, togetherness, and celebration, but they can also stir up stress and anxiety as we navigate competing expectations. Between balancing family schedules, coordinating multiple homes to visit, and managing the pressure to “make everyone happy,” the season can quickly become overwhelming. When I work with clients on boundary setting for the holidays, we focus on a few key areas to help them feel grounded before the festivities begin.
1. Reflect on Your Expectations
Before the invitations, travel plans, and traditions take over, take a quiet moment to ask yourself: What do I truly want this holiday season to look like? It’s common to feel that our preferences should be set aside to keep peace with family or friends. However, acknowledging your own needs isn’t selfish, it’s an act of self-awareness. Reflect on what would feel meaningful and peaceful to you if outside opinions weren’t a factor. Then, consider where you’re willing to compromise in ways that don’t leave you feeling depleted or resentful.
2. Notice Your Communication Style
How we communicate boundaries often matters just as much as the boundaries themselves. Some people lean toward passive communication, struggling to voice needs directly, while others may become aggressive in an effort to feel heard. Both patterns can create tension or misunderstanding. In therapy, I often help clients practice assertive communication, expressing needs clearly and respectfully, while still making space for others’ perspectives. Assertiveness allows us to say, “This is what works best for me,” without guilt or defensiveness.
3. Redefine What It Means to Say “No”
Saying “no” can feel intimidating, especially during a season filled with invitations and expectations. But remember: declining an event or stepping back from extra responsibilities doesn’t make you unkind, it makes you intentional. You don’t owe anyone lengthy explanations for protecting your time, energy, or peace.
Conclusion
As the holiday season approaches, it’s okay to give yourself permission to slow down and prioritize what truly matters. Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out, it’s about creating space for connection, rest, and presence. When we lead with self-awareness and self-compassion, we allow the holidays to feel less like chaos and more like calm.
If you are looking for additional support this holiday season, feel free to contact our intake department at 630-281-2496 and request to schedule an appointment with Veronica to work on boundary setting.
