Pain is one of those experiences that is hard to pin down because of how much it varies. It comes in different shapes and sizes and is as unique as the individual experiencing it. Some pain is sharp, and demanding. It insists upon being at the forefront of your mind. Other kinds are more sneaky, quiet and achy, slinking into the background and slowly draining your energy and focus throughout the day.
Pain is one of the most unifying human experiences. We’ve all had a headache or stepped on a Lego. But for some of us, pain is not the fleeting, infrequent inconvenience that it is for our luckier counterparts.
Chronic pain is classified as such when it lasts longer than 3 to 6 months (Dydyk & Conermann, 2024). That’s it. The definition is so broad because the struggle itself is so individualized. Countless medical and psychological factors can cause or exacerbate pain. The type, frequency, and severity can vary day by day. To top it off, many of the factors that may trigger pain, such as depression or an autoimmune disease, can be worsened by the presence and stress of the pain it causes. It’s a cycle.
Chronic doesn’t mean constant. For some folks it does, perpetually clinging like an extra weight draining from a very finite pool of mental and physical energy. For others, they never know when that frustrating little monster will strike. Sometimes they want to get involved with events or activities, or just go to the grocery store, things that feel that they should be “normal” and easily within reach. It’s never that simple with the knowledge that this stress and discomfort could pop up at any time. Regardless of how or when it shows up, it can be incredibly disruptive and disheartening to push through.
Pain itself is a physical feeling, but it often brings along some of its uncomfortable emotional cousins. Anger and frustration, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are common companions. They can affect how someone views themselves, the world, and their place in it. Forget the little angels or devils on your shoulder, these feelings rarely have anything helpful to whisper in your ear. It’s not surprising that many folks who suffer from chronic pain also suffer from anxiety and depression (Dydyk & Conermann, 2024). It can be exhausting and demotivating constantly being uncomfortable no matter what you try. Worrying about how or when that pain will blossom or feeling at constant war with your own body can really creep into how you shape your life.
The crazy part is how normalized it can become. Human beings are remarkably good at adapting to even the worst situations. Even when we are consistently uncomfortable, we can become adjusted to things being “just how it is.” Time like this is hard not to compare yourself to your sister, neighbor, or friend who manages things “like a normal person.” Perhaps part of the normalization is due to just how prevalent chronic pain is. Over 25% of folks in the United States suffer from chronic pain (Dydyk & Conermann, 2024). This means it’s more than likely that you or someone you know struggles with this pervasive problem.
Often chronic pain is an “invisible illness” or “invisible disability,” which is to say suffering that isn’t immediately or visibly observable by someone else (Salamon, 2023). I’m sure I’m not the only one to hear “you don’t look sick!” It can be exhausting, disheartening, and invalidating when such comments are made, even when no malice was intended.
It can feel impossible to start chipping away at a problem this large and amorphous. Difficult though it is, addressing chronic pain can improve client quality of life, with some research suggesting it can improve up to 30% (Dydyk & Conermann, 2024).
Let’s start small, with the basics: self-care. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean the glamorous scenes seen on TikTok touting bubble baths and scented candles. At its core, self-care is about caring for yourself. Sleep, hygiene, hydration, nutrition, and yes, even exercise, can be areas to make small steps towards nurturing yourself. This can include small things like making your space more comfortable such as rearranging cushions on the couch! It could mean making space in your day to prepare a balanced meal you enjoy. Sometimes it just means taking 30 seconds to stop rushing around and breathe.
Leaning on a support network can also lighten the load. Chronic pain is heavy, it’s a burden no one should have to bear. Isolation associated with this struggle can cause undue stress, which, as we mentioned earlier, can just make this whole cycle worse! Sharing the load can not only provide an outlet for those suffering but also bring people closer together as they share a vulnerable space and a fuller understanding of circumstance (Salamon, 2023).
Seeking support from a professional can be a game changer. Discuss and coordinate with medical professionals when appropriate. Medical doctors can guide clients through discussions of medication, procedures, or referrals to other professionals such as physical therapists. Therapy can also help folks manage chronic pain issues. Research shows that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance Commitment Therapy, and mindfulness training can be effective psychotherapeutic modalities to address chronic pain (Majeed, Ali, & Sudak, 2018). Just as pain can impact all areas of life, it is important to consider seeking support to address these areas individually.
Chronic pain can affect and be affected by so many areas in life that it can feel too big and messy to even know where to start. There is hope. Take a breath. It can be devastating and overwhelming, but it’s not a battle that has to be fought alone. If you’d like to explore options for mental health support, call Counseling Works to see about setting up an appointment.
Dydyk, A. m, & Conermann, T. (2024, May 6). Chronic pain. StatPearls . https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK553030/
Majeed, M. H., Ali, A. A., & Sudak, D. M. (2018). Psychotherapeutic interventions for chronic pain: Evidence, rationale, and advantages. International journal of psychiatry in medicine. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30091372/
Salamon, M. (2023, May 1). Invisible illness: More than meets the eye. Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/invisible-illness-more-than-meets-the-eye
Written by Amanda Grzeslo, Counseling Associate
