As we all know, life is a journey filled with ups, downs, and surprises. No matter how much we tend to plan for something…BOOM…life happens. Like most things in life, it’s often things outside of our control—like a flat tire on the way to work, your husband forgetting to take the trash out, or something in the house that needs to be fixed (feel free to add to this list). When life throws us these unknowns, it’s easy to fall into the equation: fear + uncertainty = anxiety (Brewer, 2021).
The situations above are out of our control and often unavoidable. As humans, we tend to become anxious, overwhelmed, and stressed in these moments. This is where radical acceptance comes in—acknowledging and accepting what is, without trying to fight or deny it. Anxiety is often fueled by fear and worries about things we can’t change. To challenge our emotional reactions to the unavoidable, I want you to shift your focus to what is within your control. Here’s a list to get you started.
Things That Are in Your Control:
- The outfit you choose to wear tomorrow.
- Who you spend your time with.
- How you treat yourself and others.
- The boundaries you choose to set.
- The people you surround yourself with.
- Your priorities.
- What you plan for dinner.
- How often you check your phone.
- The time you wake up in the morning.
- Whether or not you forgive yourself.
- The music you listen to.
- How much time you spend outside.
- Whether you own a scale.
- How much water you drink in a day.
- Whether you plan a vacation.
Resources:
Brewer, Judson. Unwinding Anxiety : New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind. New York, Avery, Penguin Random House LLC, 2021.
Written by: Mena Edwards, MSW, QMHP
